Life School is Now in Session - by Tonya Fistein, COTW Home Study Only Coordinator
As parents, we pride ourselves on organizational skills needed to schedule and maintain a routine for our family’s ‘normal’ lives. We create these detailed schedules, calendars, and routines to help us ease into our busy lives. Then we adjust them as needed depending on the time of year for school, work, and activities. As a mother, I pride myself on my organizational abilities, my calendars, my schedules, and my to-do lists. I have dry erase boards, stickers, colorful markers; even meals are planned with groceries ordered online. It is predictable, planned and typical.
But what happens when the world gets sick? When our families and coworkers get sick? When we see the devastation of so many deaths around the world, and the numbers on those dashboard totals continue to grow? When businesses, restaurants, gyms, schools, salons, and even medical facilities close? Well we pray, we refocus and we relearn exactly what our ‘new normal’ should be like. Out go the activities and drop off schedules, and in come the plans for homeschooling multiple grade levels, multiple children, wrangling pets, and battling internet and technology issues. So we set off to reorganize, only to forget about dinner, have it burn, all while chasing the dog across two neighborhoods because someone left the door ajar. At the same time, trying to teach middle school math and interpreting AP World History assignments, and zoom calling for work and ballet and drama classes.
My husband recently came home thinking our 15 year old was having WWIII with someone and snatched her bedroom door opened only to find out she was performing a monologue of Joan of Arc for a drama class on Google Meets. He waived politely to the class and teacher and closed the door (thankfully, our daughter was allowed to begin her performance again). And let’s not forget how awkward by daughter felt having to do her classical ballet/pointe class on zoom, in front of her father in the dining room, while he was watching Judge Judy in the great room (I am totally rethinking an open floor plan concept for our family).
There were many melt downs for my family at first, but too much time together will do that. Why is that? Well maybe it is because we have grown so far apart, that we struggle to relate to one another. The one thing I knew myself, was I was frightened. I was so very scared. As I watched the dashboard numbers increase daily, my fear took root in my soul. So I knew I had to just stop one day and pray. I was scared for the devastation and pandemic called COVID -19, for our lives, our families, my older children not sheltering at home with us.
That is when I heard God whisper - they are all afraid. Worst of all, my children were afraid. I turned to my scripture and leaned heavily on my Faith at this point. But what about my two youngest children, they were fearful too. Moreover, I was the one that needed to comfort them. So how do you do this? We started talking. First we worked out the kinks in our school and work routines. We tried communicating more effectively (after weeks of completely ineffective communicating). We began to work together. The dry erase boards stood empty but we had a routine. Still, I wanted to empower them more. I felt the need to teach them everything they might need to know for their future.
So I began teaching what we called life skills. There were no meal plans on the boards. Instead the girls had to pick a protein from the freezer and make a full meal around it using pantry items and what few fresh veggies we had. This quickly became our CHOPPED KITCHEN. If one cooked, my other child made dessert with the same criteria. Enter CUPCAKE WARS. They researched recipes of their favorites from restaurants and began arguing over who GOT to cook dinner that night. Next, I had to start “allowing” them to cook breakfast lunch or dinner. As long as they cleaned up their mess and the schoolwork was complete, they could cook or bake. They even made Easter dinner themselves. I simply supervised. These cooking lessons led to family lessons or most importantly their family’s histories. Family stories that lead to more family recipes, more gardening techniques, more life skills and things I kept meaning to talk to them about but hectic schedules got in the way. My girls learned to bake their favorite treats instead of ask for them.
I learned of friends teaching their little ones the art of jams, jellies and canning. And other friends and families teaching their children about farming and raised beds, while sewing masks has even become another’s family event, and my youngest got crochet lessons for her Great Aunt over FaceTime. My girls even had time to paint and mail Easter cards to our church and family members they were not going to get to see. They studied the meaning behind every day of Holy Week. We restarted a bible study we had not completed. Their Dad had them planting my favorite flowers and sunflowers, and even menial chores like cleaning out the attic and garage means walking down memory lane. Those promised and put off movies nights are now a regular thing. There is no rush, the popcorn doesn’t get burned, and the treats are always freshly homemade. We have grown stronger in Family and Faith.
Their fear is now replaced with bonding and our connections are put firmly back in place as we communicate more openly, and snuggle more tightly, family phone calls are longer, and stories shared more freely. Time together is more precious. Our family ties are bound tighter every day. And we are all blessed for it.
My girls said it best last night when they had their latest version of CHOPPED KITCHEN, I hope our family never goes back to the way things were when the world heals. And I agree, I hope we never loosen this bond again either, and as I say my prayers for all of us that carry fear these days, I also say a prayer of Thanksgiving for the blessings of our ‘New Normal’.
“ When this is over, may we never again take for granted
A handshake with a stranger, Full shelves at the store , Conversations with neighbors, A crowded theater, Friday night out, The taste of communion, A routine checkup, The school rush each morning, Coffee with a friend, The stadium roaring, Each deep breath, A boring Tuesday, Life itself.
When this ends
May we find that we have become more like the people we wanted to be, we were called to be, we hoped to be, and may we stay that way
— better for each other, because of the worst.”
