We believe testimonies are a powerful way to reach others with hope and wisdom.
Adoptive Mom, Sabrina Dunn, shares how the Lord is using a unique bond between her two children to teach their family more about what unconditional love truly means, and the little ways we can demonstrate this to others.
“Mommy, I’ve got to tell Elijah about my morning at school before we go to bed.”
“Okay, just make it quick,” I responded to my daughter, Embry (knowing all too well that a short story just isn’t possible for her).
I sat on the edge of the bed as Embry said, “Elijah, today at school we had a real fire drill while we were playing. We also ate yummy combos for snack. And did you know that my eyes are brown? Let me see what color your eyes are... Yours are brown too!!! And then you and mommy picked me up and I was so happy to see you! Mommy, you tell me all about Elijah’s day too!”. Elijah laid there sucking his thumb, staring off while Embry rambled on and on.
From his outward appearance and body language, others may have thought Elijah didn’t care or even understand what she was saying. His sister, however, knew he understood EVERYTHING. Yet, she expected nothing in return - Not a verbal response or even eye contact. She also did not need any acknowledgement to know his competency. At her young age, Embry has already learned that Elijah is intelligent and brilliant, only unable to respond to her conversations in a typical manner. After Embry finished talking, she hugged Elijah and loved on him. He shrilled and giggled loudly while he squeezed her back tightly. His body language and reciprocal affection and happiness quickly reminded us, yet again, what he could not tell us verbally - He was listening to Embry, he enjoyed hearing all about her day, and he loves her big!
Their unique sibling dynamic and love for each other is something really special. It often takes my breath away. Sometimes their roles seem reversed; Embry (the younger sibling) enjoys helping her older brother who is greatly affected by Autism.
She loves Elijah just the way he is with a special, selfless, kind of love and maturity that is well beyond her years. Embry also reminds us daily that true love and kindness expect nothing in return and there should be no conditions attached.
“ true love and kindness expect nothing in return and there should be no conditions attached. ”
Our story of how God brought us here
Adoption was on my heart long before I married my husband, Adam. As the years passed, we both knew, without a doubt, that God was calling us to adopt one day. About two years after we were married, we learned we would never be able to have children biologically. This was shocking to hear, but this news just further confirmed what we already knew; God was calling us to start the adoption process.
We adopted our son, Elijah, domestically when he was almost four months old. I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on him. Elijah’s beautiful smile and sweet disposition have always been able to light up a room. Although Elijah is greatly affected by Autism, he has an indescribable and special joy that makes everyone smile. We often say that he is truly happier than the average person.
After receiving Elijah’s Autism diagnosis, we quickly learned the specialists we were seeing left out 2 key things. One, they failed to tell us the unexplainable joy our son brings will always outweigh the challenges. Two, they also did not tell us that God provides extra grace and patience on the hard days.
“-The unexplainable joy our son brings will always outweigh the challenges. ”
Elijah has also opened our eyes and taught us more than we ever imagined possible about true, unconditional love. In fact, he’s changed our view on many different things. Just this past year, Elijah has blown everyone away - as he has started to become more verbal. To hear him call me “Mommy” with not only his AAC Device, but also his voice, has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Elijah has already touched more lives in his seven years than most will in their lifetime.
In February of 2017, God made it clear to us that we were being called to adopt again. I never imagined we would ever adopt internationally - but God had other plans. We jokingly say that God did just about everything you can think of - except placing a sign in the sky - to let us know He was calling us to adopt a child from India.
our second adoption
According to the documentation from Embry’s orphanage, she was considered to be delayed in growth and overall development. But after a few months of being home, she started to catch up developmentally at an unbelievably fast rate ... Faster than what professionals said was “reasonably possible” for a child who had been institutionalized for the first 13 months of their life … and faster than we ever dreamed.
We expected and prepared for her to eventually need various therapies. We were ready to tackle any needs that may arise; but God, yet again, had other plans. Within only a year of being home, Embry had already surpassed where she should have been developmentally for her age. Her vocabulary was astounding, although she had never been around the English language prior to us adopting her. None of this was because of anything we had done, it was clearly a God thing that could not be explained.
All of the children eligible for adoption in India were considered special needs. We had already been blessed by the world of special needs and though we were a little nervous of the unknowns, we were prepared and ready to handle whatever needs might come up with our second adoption. On a hot day in July, we received a phone call from Ms. Pat, the director of Children of the World. She told us the wonderful news - India had officially approved us to adopt. Then, in the SAME phone call, she surprised us with information about a six month old baby girl, who she thought would be the perfect addition to our family. After talking more, Ms. Pat sent us all of the documents available and her photo. My husband and I knew right away that this little girl was our daughter. We cried when we realized her birth date was the SAME exact week God made it clear to us we needed to start the process to adopt a child from India. We completed our very first documents the same week Embry was born over 8,000 miles away.
We brought our daughter, Embry, home from India in February of 2018. Embry was almost 14 months old, but the size of a small 6 month old, when she joined our family. I’ll never forget how scared she was when we first took her away from all she had ever known. Those first few weeks were so tough and I felt so helpless as we watched her grieve and pull away from our love and affection. The transformation she made within only a few months was miraculous to watch and it was like she became a completely different child from that terrified little girl we brought home.
trusting and learning
Next, Sabrina shares beautiful insight that highlights a blind spot many of with the ability to see positivity and possess strong or even moderate faith may miss. We still need to grow! There will always be areas we can still grow from “knowing God can” to “believing He is”.
I thought I knew a lot about adoption and God’s love - but one thing I never could have accurately fathomed was just how much God truly cares about even the little details in our life. Throughout the adoption process for both of our children, God provided and proved Himself faithful each and every step of the way. When a fee was due, the money would be there. The support for our fundraisers was unending. When we were nervous about traveling internationally for the very first time, and the language barrier while in India, He made a way for us to travel with wonderful friends (who were adopting from the same orphanage and (one of them) knows Hindi) – even making it possible for us to be on all the same flights. He also provided an amazing guide to hold our hand every step of the way and through all of our appointments while in India. God truly went before us and prepared the way.
When we adopted Embry, the one thing I was the most nervous about and prayed over more than anything was Elijah and Embry’s relationship once we returned home and became a family of four. I worried about the unknowns of how they would interact and exactly what kind of relationship they would even be able to have. Oh if I had only realized then that God would work out all of the little details...
“I thought I knew a lot about adoption and God’s love - but one thing I never could have accurately fathomed was just how much God truly cares about even the little details in our life. ”
Elijah loved Embry from the moment she joined our family and she absolutely adored him beyond words. About six months after she joined our family, the two started to develop a special bond with a very different and unique sibling dynamic. By the time Embry turned two, it was apparent she had a maturity which allowed her to understood and comprehended Elijah’s struggles and differences way beyond others at her young age. Embry quickly became Elijah’s biggest fan! (and remains so to this day)
She cheers him on when he masters a new task (even simple tasks, she may have already learned). She’s enjoyed bossing him around a little … But, quickly focuses on looking for and seeking out opportunities to assist him with various things throughout the day - like helping him put his shoes on. I’ll admit, this initially worried me because I don’t want her to ever feel like she needs to be the one assisting him, as this is not her responsibility. But helping him literally became one of her favorite things to do.
Embry started speaking for Elijah, answering for him in public when people would try to talk to him, because she knew he could not speak. She also started to make sure others keep Elijah included (in conversations and activities). When family calls to say hello to the kids, she says “hello” then quickly lets whoever is on the phone know, Elijah is right beside her and they should speak to him too. These were never things we’ve taught her or instructed her to do. Embry’s maturity and selflessness are miraculously beyond her years, which just highlights another one of those “God things”- you could not explain, no matter how hard you tried.
I often think about how Embry’s selfless, unconditional love for Elijah could teach us all about how God wants us to love others. We go through life in a hurry and only slow down to interact with those that are able to offer us something in return, whether it be a response, acknowledgement of some kind, or even eye contact. At the end of the day, true love and kindness should expect nothing in return.
God truly writes the most beautiful stories when we fully trust His sovereign hand with the pen.
