COTW adoptive mother, Emily Davis, shares with us a story from an outing with her daughter, Libby, who has sensory processing differences. We in the adoption community always appreciate opportunities to be open with each other about life and the challenges we sometimes face. Realness lends strength to many, when you strip away the filters to show the hard times and add the message…. “but we’re not giving up”.
Life with Libby, our sensory seeker, was more difficult than I ever imagined pre-adoption. I rarely left my house unless we had an appointment to attend. Libby was wound tight and difficult to manage on my own, so we stayed home a lot.
When she had been home about a year, our dog, Penelope, had to go to the vet. My husband and I arranged everything so that he could stay home with Libby. But then the day arrived, and my husband couldn’t get off work... so I had to decide if I should cancel the appointment or take Libby with me. My husband told me to cancel.
I pridefully decided that I could do it alone! So, I loaded both Libby and Penelope into the car. I was feeling so good about this trip. I was confident beyond reason. Libby had been home almost a year. We were ready to take an outing to the vet! She had come so far in her first year that I just knew she was ready.
As I was driving to the vet, I started thinking about which one I should get out of the car first. Sounds silly, but it was a big decision. I would have to hold onto one of them while I unloaded the other. Both of them are runners. I had to get the best behaved one out first. The one who listened the most. The one who obeyed me more. The one who feared my raised voice. So, with all of those points to consider, I chose Penelope.
I managed to get both of them inside the vet office. Overflowing with pride, I entered the office with my head held high. I was on top of the world. I felt like nothing could ever go wrong with my life again. Because I was on an outing ALONE with Libby AND we had our dog too! Well, pride goeth before a fall. And that day I fell hard. Everything went downhill from there. There are absolutely no words to describe the next 30 minutes of my life.
Penelope is "Libby's dog." She is extremely possessive. We were waiting in line to sign in and the lady in front of us turned around and smiled at us and reached out to pet Penelope. Libby slapped the lady and yelled "HANDS OFF!!" And then she snarled her teeth at this lady just like a dog would. I was speechless and never even thought to apologize to that lady.
One of the vet techs that we know saw us in the waiting room and came to say hi. Libby stood between her and Penelope and yelled, "Noooo!!!" Then Penelope went around Libby to get attention and Libby grabbed her by her back legs and dragged her on her side away from the lady, all while yelling, "No DenaPEE!!! Libby’s DenaPEE!”
We get into the exam room and the second door of the exam room that leads to the back was open. Naturally, Libby ran straight through the room and took off running through the back of the office and into another exam room where she started petting another dog. Thankfully that dog was nice and didn't bite. I was only halfway running after her because Penelope is scared and wouldn’t walk so I had to drag her on her belly by the leash. I grabbed Libby and smiled at all the strangers in the other exam room and give a slight chuckle and said sheepishly, "I should have brought 2 leashes!" I then dragged both back into our exam room.
While waiting in the room for the vet to come in, Libby was licking EVERYTHING!! The floor, the chair, the plant, the exam table, the wall, me, the door. She would not stop. And I was finally starting to remember why I don’t go out with her alone unless we absolutely have to. The vet came in and Libby started gagging. (I'm not sure, but I think she might have licked Penelope right as the door opened) anyway, she started throwing up so I grabbed her up in one arm and stuck my other hand over her mouth. They pointed me to the bathroom in the back and I took off running. I left my purse, keys, and dog behind in the exam room for someone else to look after.
I got her into the bathroom. Somehow I had managed to keep all the vomit in my hand. I put her down in front of the toilet where she lost her lunch. Over and over and over. I washed my hands and then cleaned her up. Finally, we went back into our exam room for the 3rd time. This time I entered the room defeated. I was no longer soaring on cloud nine. I had zero pride. I wanted to go home. But this visit would not end.
Libby was concerned for Penelope the entire time. The vet offered to take Penelope to the back away from Libby for the examination and shots if it would help. I declined because Libby would be so upset if they took her dog away. So they proceeded with the exam. When they clipped Penelope's nails, Libby started crying. Not a sound came out, but tears just rolled off her cheeks. When I wiped her cheeks off she said, "Mommy, Libby cry". I think she thought the vet was cutting Penelope’s toes off.
When they pulled the needles out to do the shots and Libby screamed "NO!!! KIND HANDS!" Throughout the entire exam Libby instructed them with the words and commands she hears me say to her multiple times a day. "Gentle!" "Kind hands!" "No hitting!" "Pet her!!!" “Don’t pick her up!” (It was reassuring to me that she does actually listen to everything I tell her a million times a day. Now to work on her actually DOING what I say…)
When they were done and put Penelope back on the floor, Libby ran over and hugged her tight and said, "No more! All done! See you later!" We went out to the front to pay and I think Penelope realized we were going home. She wasn't too excited. I think she was hoping to board for a few weeks. So, she suddenly lost her ability to walk. And I had to get help getting both her and Libby out to the car.
And so my prideful self that was ready to conquer the world, went back to staying home unless it was an appointment for Libby. I imagine everyone who works at our vet went home with stories to tell their families.
Libby has been home 4 years now and I take her and her younger sister with me everywhere I go! Even to my own doctor appointments. Life has drastically changed over the years. And I promise if you are in a stage of wondering what in the world you’ve done, it DOES get better with time. And depending on the child…..maybe it takes more time than what others have told you.
By Emily Davis, COTW Adoptive Mom
